Tuesday, December 13, 2011

and this was last year...

Bobby Riddle has endured long road of recovery

By Ryan Boetel rboetel@daily-times


FARMINGTON — One year ago, doctors told Rick and Rita Riddle their youngest son was likely going to die. But with faith and perseverance, Bobby Riddle pushed himself through one of the most painful years imaginable.
The doctors and nurses who once called Bobby a longshot now call him a "miracle," Rita said.
Bobby badly burned most of his body the day after Thanksgiving 2010. His parents had gone to Laughlin, Nev., to visit Rita's sister for the holiday and Bobby's weekend chore was to get rid of the leaves in the family's yard on 27th Street near Farmington High School.
After gathering leaves into a barrel, Bobby used gasoline to burn them away. It caused an explosion, which set the high school senior on fire and changed his life forever.
"I remember pouring gas into a barrel, it blowing up, me running, my sister tackling me," Bobby said in an interview Wednesday. "I got up and ran a little more, somebody put me out and that's all I remember."
A 10-year-old neighbor was near Bobby when the gas exploded. Bobby pushed the boy out of the way, which likely increased the severity of his injuries. The boy was not harmed.
Bobby was flown to University of New Mexico Hospital in Albuquerque that night. "He won't survive 24 hours" was the first prognosis his family heard. "We don't think he will survive the first surgery," doctors then said. Then they said Bobby would need to spend one year in the hospital, Rita said.
In March,
a little more than three months after the accident, Bobby returned home to Farmington, most of his formal rehabilitation completed. He returned to school and finished his curriculum on schedule. He walked with his classmates at graduation. He's helping out coaching youth sports teams in Farmington. He mentors young children and hunts regularly with his dad.
But despite his success, don't think Bobby didn't go through hell.
A painful recovery
The night of the accident, doctors put a breathing tube in Bobby's trachea and began a six-week emergency sedation because of the excruciating pain that comes with treating massive burns, Rita said.
He started coming to his senses around Christmas time, only to start feeling the skin graft surgeries. Bobby has had 29 skin graft surgeries in the last year, and more are yet to come.
The first surgery Bobby remembers set him into a frenzy, Rita said.
Doctors sliced a large chunk of skin off the top of his right foot and stretched it out to be used on one of his arms. For days after the surgery, if Bobby's hospital bed or foot moved the slightest bit he was screaming.
In between surgeries, Bobby went through intense rehabilitation at the hospital.
"The hardest thing was that first initial try at getting him out of bed after laying there for so long," Rita said. "I remember the tears and the yelling and the screaming."
Bobby had to relearn everything. He couldn't talk, walk, eat, and he had limited mobility in his arms and legs. He also was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and occasionally has nightmares.
But an avid wrestler and football and baseball player all his life, Bobby used his athletic experience to make and achieve goals for himself in recovery.
"I knew that if I gave up in a sport, I wasn't going to get anywhere in that sport," he said. "I made (recovery) a sport. I said If I give up now, I'm not going anywhere but back
in the bed.'"
Bobby, a senior at the time of the accident, made the unlikely goal of getting back to school and graduating on time. And, to the surprise of doctors, he walked with his class in May at graduation.
Rita said there were several aspects to Bobby's recovery that led to success. Unlike many burn patients, Bobby did not scream when he was on fire, which kept his lungs from being damaged.
Bobby said he knew not to breathe out of his mouth when he was on fire because his father is a retired fire chief for the Carlsbad Fire Department and his older brother is a firefighter.
Bobby also has not had a skin infection and his body didn't reject any of his skin grafts, which commonly happens when treating burn patients, Rita said.
Bobby continues to push himself to get better on his own. When he's watching television, he also completes coloring books to improve his range of motion. His father takes him hunting almost everyday, which helps Bobby improve.
"I can't doesn't exist in this house. That's my attitude," Rick said. "Sometimes he thinks I'm rough on him, but that's how I was raised. I can't means you try harder."

Inspiring and helping others
Rita is a teacher at Naschitte Elementary, where earlier this year a student skipped school and set fire to a barn while playing with matches.
Bobby gave that student a talking-to.
Bobby's story of perseverance is also helping others. He's spoken to church groups about hope and not giving up, and he continues to be a devout Christian.
He also attended two burn clinics in Albuquerque so doctors could learn from his skin. It can be uncomfortable and many patients don't let unknown doctors examine and touch their scars. But as long as it helps other patients, it's OK, Bobby said.
"It doesn't bother him to go in, take his shirt off, and let them look at his scars and touch his skin grafts," Rick said. "The first time doctors see a patient is in the burn unit. To see Bobby and see what they are striving to get to, that's a big deal."
Bobby may be an inspiring coach in Farmington for years to come. He was a good baseball player before the accident and planned to try to continue playing in college.
Now he wants to get into coaching. He helps coach wrestling at Hermosa Middle School and wants to help the Farmington wrestling team this season. He also coaches a youth baseball team.
"I think God's pushing me to coach and be a leader for young kids growing up," Bobby said.

Balancing anger and thanks
Bobby remains scarred from the accident. His looks will continue to improve with upcoming surgeries, which at this point are not necessary for survival but doctors have several planned to improve the appearance of his jaw and face, Rita said.
"Is is still tough, I go through moments where I look at Bobby and I just see Bobby," Rita said. "And then I look at Bobby and I see the scars, and I get angry and I get sad."
For Sabrina, Bobby's older sister, the hardest part is thinking about how the accident continues to complicate his life.
"He should be in college right now," she said. "He should be off having fun with the rest of his class."
Despite frustrations over the long recovery, his family has a tremendous amount of pride in the way Bobby coped with accident.
"For most part I look at Bobby and I see an amazing person who has gone through this horrific accident and has not become bitter and angry," Rita said. "I see a person who has inspired other people."
Bobby has a future in front of him. He will apply to New Mexico Highlands University and New Mexico State University to start college as soon as possible. He continues to be thankful for the outpouring of support he and his family received from the community, especially fellow high school students, since the accident. He also is thankful most people in town don't treat him differently because of his burns.
And after a year of struggle, Bobby realized one important thing about himself that will shape his life forever: He can handle it.
"If the accident could have happened to any of my friends, I'm glad it happened to me," he said. "I don't mean to say this in a bad way, but the way (my friends) act compared to the way I act, I put everything positive."



AFTER ALL HE WENT THRU THIS YEAR .... HE DIED TODAY!!!! =( =( =(

bobby in the news

Bobby Riddle dies at home [5:30 p.m.]



FARMINGTON - Bobby Riddle, 19, was found dead Tuesday afternoon.

A friend of the family found Riddle unresponsive in his bed at about 2:45 p.m. and he was pronounced dead at the scene, said Kim Carpenter, who spoke on behalf of the Riddle Family on Tuesday.

The cause of death was not immediately known. Riddle had a headache on Monday and was taken to the emergency room where doctors said he has strep throat, Carpenter said.

Funeral arrangements are pending, Carpenter said.

“Obviously we’re going to have a memorial service, the family will be making some decision tonight,” Carpenter said. “I suspect it is going to be huge."

For years Riddle was a well-liked youth athlete who played baseball and wrestled at a high level. For the past year he was an inspiring story that reached beyond athletics.

Riddle was badly injured while burning leaves outside his family home in November 2010. He was burned over much of his body and spent the last year recovering in and out of hospitals.

Since his release from the hospital, Riddle was a youth coach and spoke to church groups.

For more on the story, continue to read The Daily Times,
 
this just breaks my heart .....

death....

i just found out my friend sabrinas brother passed away today. =( . he wasnt much younger than me ..
i know what it is like to lose a brother .... i lost mine a little over a year ago...
i know me and her arent close but , its still sad.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

i need a lobotomy???

well , idk where to start?? so there is this guy , names Dakotah McBride , i started dating him on Jan 6 , 2008. i was 17. i never met him . its not like i met him on some creepy site on the Internet. i was trying to remember my bf at the times number (i was grounded so i didn't have my phone)... but i got one number wrong and text dakotah. i got all mad at him thinking Kenny (bf at the time) was just being a dick and acting like someone else. but instead dakotah came into my life.
at first i didn't really pay attention to him, he was only 16. and when i was 17 that seemed sooo young lol . it wasn't until around a couple weeks after Christmas that i really got into him . we hit it off , he was sweet and a cowboy, rode bulls. he was my type of guy to the T. on Jan 6th we started dating , we had all these cute little things, like when we were discussing if we were dating or not, i asked him what page he was on and he said page 12. i asked him if i should be on that page as well, and he said yes. and 12 became "our" number. and we would talk on the phone til 3am and be at school by 730am . We were in love .
but things didn't stay sweet , i just seemed to have this knack for pissing him off . i didn't do it on purpose, he was just a jerk . and everything made him mad . we broke up and got back together ALOT. he would break my heart, i would always take him back . and because of this (and the fact that iv never met him) , my family and friends hate him . and he hates my family. but i love him!
well, anyways , we have been broken up for a long time now. prob the longest ever. and on Thursday night he told me he missed me and wants to give us a try again . and now he lives in farmington. so i said yes . i really do love him . I'm happy and i really hope it can work , i do have this doubt in my brain that its just going to be the same but he is acting way different. he is "needy" and not in a bad way. he has always been the type of guy who don't seem to care about feelings or anything . but for this whole weekend i was his gf , but i distanced myself, i didn't put any effort into us. i was scared. i didn't wanna try cause i always get hurt. but he got upset and said he was serious and want to really try. and now that he lives here he thinks it could work. and i want it to more than anything.
i told my mom i was talking to him again and she said if i started liking him again she was going to give me a lobotomy.... lol she is so funny.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

happiness

well im almost done moving , all i have left is few random stuff at the old house . =) im loving living with britt and anthony!!
also brittny introduced me to this guy names donovan, he is pretty cool . lol well i really like him . he stayed the night last night . . . lol pretty much rocked my socks lmao. then when we left this morning he cleared the snow off my windshield and kissed me goodbye ... im just not going to get my hopes up lol i know if i do it will lead to nothing , story of my life hehe . so im just going to go with it =) maybe it will lead to something more . if not , britt and anthony are getting me a match.com account lol thats how they met !
im keep contemplating if this blog should just be a sort of diary that no one reads considering i like typing alot more than writin anymore ... i wonder if there is a program for journaling for ur computer ir online or something , i might have to transfer these to it .....
this might be something to do today .....

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

otters are so cute!

moving...

well im moving in with brittny and anthony =) on thursday. also , i got my new glasses today and i have a killer headache!! =( my prescription changed so my eyes arent used to it hopefully tomorrow is better .
i only have 2 more nights of living alone... kinda wierd lol but i do miss my karlie and brittny. and it will be nice to not pay so many bills. cause for one i have to get a new car .. with a car payment.
im also going to need to get internet not on my phone. considering i have crappy service out where im moving to ... ugh lol
also at work we have to call all kinds of passengers because of schedule changes ... and my head friggin hurts . tonight is going to suck big time.
well i cant type ne more. my head hurts to bad . bye

Monday, November 14, 2011

over it ...

well iv decided not to talk to him anyways... kinda just not worht the potential drama. so im just not talking to him anymore. at all.
today is Matthews 6th birthday. my family went to albuquerque to UNM Hospital (where matt died). they gave his birthday present to a little boy named Jerimiah. he is almost 4 years old and is in the hospital with severe burns on his face and hands . his mother poured boiling water on him while he was sleeping.... it makes me sick!! how could someone hurt a child like that?? while he is sleeping?!?!?!? ugh. but he told my mom he loved her .... =)

Sunday, November 13, 2011

ommission

well omission is not the same as lying.. at least i hope not . here is the situation.. there is this guy my bff dated, not gonna say names.... well anyways she hates him, and technically he dated 2 of my bffs. but anyways , iv been talking to him. at first i was just blowing him off. but after i really talked to him i realized that he is not that bad, one of my bffs (B) said when they went camping he was talking bad about me. i asked him about it and he said he was talkin about a diff Shelby. and that he didnt even know who i was at that time to even talk shit about me . i believe him. and then she said something about him baing the reason (C) went to jail, she assumed it was when he went to jail for rape in high school, but it was because the guy (S) wanted to throw a party and (C) was on probation and went to jail for drinking. i believe that too. and i dont believe guys alot. i have a really good "bullshit radar". lol
when i told (B) that i was talking to him and that i hung out with him she got mad and said he is just gonna screw me over. so i said i would not talk to him anymore, but i just have this feeling i need to give him a chance ... i just dont have any fears about hanging out with him. and iv learned to follow my gut. so im just not going to talk to her about him. its not worth the fight, so im just going to keep it to myself. if she asks about him im just gonna say idk. cause for all i know could be "The One" lol i feel bad going behind her back, but, tecnically its not behind her back cause im not trying to hide it. plus she is planning to move to durango, and where does that leave me. im my own person and i shouldnt have to worry about making her mad. so im just not gonna. its not hurting anyone, and if it does its just gonnnahurt me and thats just a risk that comes with ANY MAN. not specifically only him.
but i seem to have alot in common with him. im going to his house tonight when i get off work to hang out.
its just gonna be wierd not talling (B) everything!
anyways ill just keep you updated. . . . . .

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

life...

well sorry its been so long since i last posted . iv just been busy or didnt know what to write. Verne has been staying with me since thursday, he is leaving tomorrow. and it seems that every night either kyle, derek, james or someone wants to come over. and verne is on my living room floor . this would seem ... awkward. given me and vernes history.
today is my friday, im so happy. im ready for some days off. need to clean my house. also i was going to go to grants next week , but i decided to go for thanksgiving. =) but the only thing is i hate doing dishes after thanksgiving dinner.
oh man im booring myself. . . . lmao. i think thats all for now! bye!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

my new phone =)

im getting the htc evo 4g!!!!


For Sprint
This is not a GSM device, it will not work on any GSM network worldwide.
General2G NetworkCDMA 800 / 1900
3G NetworkCDMA2000 1xEV-DO
Announced2010, March
StatusAvailable. Released 2010, June
SizeDimensions122 x 66 x 13 mm
Weight170 g
DisplayTypeTFT capacitive touchscreen, 65K colors
Size480 x 800 pixels, 4.3 inches (~217 ppi pixel density)
- Gorilla Glass display
- Multi-touch input method
- Accelerometer sensor for UI auto-rotate
- Proximity sensor for auto turn-off
- HTC Sense UI
SoundAlert typesVibration, MP3, WAV ringtones
Loudspeaker Yes
3.5mm jack Yes
MemoryPhonebookPractically unlimited entries and fields, Photocall
Call recordsPractically unlimited
Internal512 MB RAM; 1 GB ROM
Card slotmicroSD, up to 32GB, 8GB included, buy memory
DataGPRSNo
EDGENo
3GRev. A, up to 3.1 Mbps
WLANWi-Fi 802.11 b/g, WiMAX 802.16 e (Wi-Fi router)
BluetoothYes v2.1 with A2DP
Infrared portNo
USBYes, microUSB v2.0
CameraPrimary8 MP, 3264x2448 pixels, autofocus, dual-LED flash
FeaturesGeo-tagging
VideoYes, 720p
SecondaryYes, 1.3 MP
FeaturesOSAndroid OS, v2.1 (Eclair), upgradable to v2.3
CPU1 GHz Scorpion processor, Adreno 200 GPU, Qualcomm QSD8650 Snapdragon chipset
MessagingSMS(threaded view), MMS, Email, Push Email, IM
BrowserHTML
RadioStereo FM radio with RDS
GamesYes
ColorsBlack, White
GPSYes, with A-GPS support
JavaYes, via Java MIDP emulator
- Digital compass
- HDMI port
- Dedicated search key
- Google Search, Maps, Gmail
- YouTube, Google Talk, Picasa integration
- MP3/AAC+/WAV/WMA9 player
- MP4/H.263/H.264/WMV9 player
- Facebook, Flickr, Twitter applications
- Voice memo
BatteryStandard battery, Li-Ion 1500 mAh
Stand-byUp to 146 h
Talk timeUp to 5 h 12 min



found at <http://www.gsmarena.com/htc_evo_4g-3427.php>

sorry its been so long...

i just keep forgetting to post. well i got a laptop now =) a full size one . and im getting the htc evo =) im so excited . also i went to grants for matts heaven day. it was alright . Brittny went with me. her being there really helped. im not too sure what to write..... so ill think and then come back later and try not to bore you to death... lol

Monday, October 24, 2011

this time last year

Well as i was driving to work i was thinking about how everything has changed since this day last year....
day after tomorrow is the day Matthew died last year, the day my whole world got turned upside down. =( the worst day of my life... looking back it seems like yesterday. but its been a year! i feel on the verge of tears today. thinking about how my little Matt was perfect on this day last year. and how we did not have the slightest clue that he would be gone in a matter of days.
i remember that day like it was yesterday, we had went to meet Renee half way to get delayna and bob the builder (cat) . Matt didn't go to school because he loved that cat so much and missed him like crazy. Matthew was so hyper on the trip to get them, he would not stop talking. when we met Renee he refused to get out to see Sydney (Renee's daughter who is Matt's age) . Delayna told him that Sydney had a another bf and he got all mad lol .
we stopped in Thoreau on the way home at Family Dollar and got some snacks and drinks. as we were leaving the store my mom started to back up with out Matthew in the car ... she said "i cant leave my pride and joy, i don't know what id do with out him. or any of you". thinking about this breaks my heart cause not even 7 hours he would be gone :'( .
when we got into Bluewater we got bubba out of school so we could be together when we let bob out of his kennel.
when we got home we played with bob and then i made Matthew and bubba a grill cheese sandwich and ate with them. my grandpa came over and told bubba to go bring the horses in for him. Matthew went with him, because he always did . our horses are gentle and all you have to do is take a bucked of feed to the field and they will just follow you in . Matthew always had too much trust in horses. when we told him they could hurt him he would say , " but they wuvv me?!" .
my grandpa told me to go shut off the water and Matt and bubba still had not come back. when i went out there i had a feeling to go look but i just figured bubba was just taking his time as usual. so i went back inside and my om asked if i had seen them but i said no and looked out the kitchen window but still didn't see them. so i went and layed on my bed.
next thing i know i heard bubba yelling in the kitchen about Matt being half dead and something about blood and him being out in the pit.... so i threw on my shoes and took off running outside . but my grandpa stopped me and  told me he was in the living room... so i went in there and called 911 and they came and got him and threw him to UNM Hospital in Albuquerque . i drove my mom there and was there when they let him go. i kissed him as he flat lined..... it was all happening so fast and i didn't know what to do... i felt numb. i just wanted to go home.
my mom stayed in alb til they brought him back the next day. but i went home that night. my friend was supposed to meet me there but instead another friend came and stayed with til she thought i was asleep. i didn't sleep at all tho... the next morning i got up and had to show the sheriffs where he had got kicked by the horse...
its so crazy to think that all this happened . i have never actually wrote it down. (or typed in this case)

Sunday, October 23, 2011

forever

i feel like its been forever since i posted a long blog...
well wednesday is my little brothers "heaven day" (the day he died) it will be one year... brittny is going with me to grants tho!!!! im excited.. its going to be hard tho.
and more on the jake break up... he basically told me that he only sees me as a friend. so his loss i guess. i do miss him tho.
and i got a gym membership. my first workout was today. basically just power walked. but its better than nohing. my legs are kinda sore tho. i think that tomorrow im not going to the gym cuz i need to go to the dupm and clean out the bed of my truck. so i have to drive to cedar hill. lol then tuesday i have a meeting with a trainer at 1. kinda nervous about that.
oh and i made a eHarmony account. i want to meet someone who has the same goals as me..

Friday, October 21, 2011

single again....

well , jake broke up with me .. friggin figures. im not sure if im mad or sad. maybe both..... o well. im used to it.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

sold my car!!!!

well , i just found out this guy is going to buy my car!!! he is giving me 600 for it !!! lol yippee plus im going to go to school! and i got to see my man today!! lol today is a good day!....

Saturday, October 15, 2011

would the person i was 10 years ago be proud of me today?

i just got asked the question : "would the person you were ten years ago be proud of who you are today?"
i honestly dont know... i was 11 ten years ago... im sure i would have been proud of me being on my own and supporting myself. but i have made some bad choices concerning guys and not finnishing actual highschool. but i did go to military school... so idk?
i know for a fact that the 11year old me would never have imagined i would go through what i have in the last year. from losing garnett to losing my grandma and the icing on the cake... losing my little mattmatt... =( . i would never have imagined my mom would have even had another baby, let alone get married. then almost get divorced . and even get her endowments. so much has changed in the past year, let alone the past TEN years.
thinking about how much everything has changed makes me sad. i mean not everything thats changed has been bad. somethings were good. but growing up is scary!
now im thinking of where i will be ten years from now??? married? kids? carreer? happy? miserable? if so, then why?.... all the unanswered questions in life......

ugh

im sooo tired .. hope i get to see jake tomorrow!

Friday, October 14, 2011

cars ad stuff ...

well i have to buy a new car.... yay lol not. i kinda miss mine. but to replace to freeze plugs you have to pull the engine and its just not worth it... =(  . so im selling it and getting a new one.
things with jake are going reat too. but i didnt get to see him today. =( o well i guess that it is good for us to not be together everyday. gives him time to miss me . hehe .
my moms nickname for me has always been "sister" and she called me it today for the firdt time in a long time.... its crazy how something so small can make me sooo happy. like my mom calling me sister. =)
iv kinda noticed this turning in to more of a journal than a blog. guess id  rather type than actually write anyways.....lol

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Ruin things..?

I'm so happy right now I feel like something is going to go wrong... :( I really hope not. I really like jake. I hope I don't ruin it by trying not to. . . . . Goodnight



Tuesday, October 11, 2011

taken =)

well i guess me and brittny officially got boyfriends on the same day! =) i cant wait to see jake tomorrow!!!!! idk what we are going to do! maybe go see my Papa and Glenda. or just hang out at my house and watch movies! im almost out of gas so .. yea.
i called in to work yesterday cause durango took longer than expected, and i got in trouble. o well, i get 3 more oocurrences then im fired. iv only had one tho. i think it is dumb that they had to "talk" to me over that! i have never called in and i called like 5 hours before my shift. im just not calling in again. ever unless im dying!
but calling in yesterday was soooo worth it! i got the best boyfriend EVER! lol =)

Monday, October 10, 2011

Jake =)

So I went to durango today with jake :) I spent all day with him waiting for his grandma at the hospital. She is ok, but I really like jake :p . When we got back to aztec we went to his house and talked to his parents for a while and then came to my house. We just hung out and talked about everything! When I dropped him off he hugged me and said give me a kiss :) so I did ! It gave me butterflies! I get them now even thinkin about it. :p I asked him when I would know if I was his girlfriend and he said right now :) ..... no longer single !!!!



Saturday, October 8, 2011

Jake =)

ok so now i will tell you about jake . i met him on facebook when i lived in grants. we talked alot while i lived down there. when i moved back we went to lunch and i went to his doctors office and the college with him. i really liked him. then he totally fell off the face of the earth. i was so worried about him and could not seem to get ahold of him. that is how i started to talk to lacie. and on thursday she took me to his house =) now we call eachother everyday. and we are going on a "date" monday. to durango to take his grandma to the doctors office... i kinda see a trend starting lol hehehe

Friday, October 7, 2011

my crazy party...

well as i posted before... my birthday was wednesday.. wednesday night we went to chilis and drank and then went back to my house nad got totally wasted. it was so much fun but i got way too drunk. then thursday i woke up and lacie came and got me and we went to jakes (ill clarify who he is later). i have not seen him in forever and then i went to do errands and went back over to jakes for over an hour. =) i missed him alot.  then that night we went to top deck and i drank a little. i so did not want to get as drunk as i did wednesday night. i had fun. the band signed my chest and made me go on stage and get a "birthday spanking" lol publicly. then kristain almos got raped by some lezbo chick. and freddie was choking the les trying to get her off kristian. then we went bac kto my house and drank. i got lap dances from almost everyone there.
then there was this guy who was really hot and me and sabrina were kinda silently fighting over him. he would be all over me then all over her and back and forth and so on. then we had to call the cops cause another friend went all nuts... it was a very crazy night . i didnt go to bed til 830am.... lol ill post later on who jake is =)

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

my last day being 20..... lol

well today is my last day being 20! lol tonight at 252am i will 21 years old! im so excited!!! i came to work today and my desk was all decorated! =) my boss put balloons on it and streamers and a happy birthday banner! it makes me happy. . . . . . =) but tomorrow im going to have dinner and drinks with a bunch of my friends and then thursday going to top deck and partying at my house after!
well i dont know what else to write as of now, i might post another blog this evening....

Monday, October 3, 2011

Today is Better.

well today has been a better day... but i had to pay the electric company 105 dollars to keep my electricity on.. that came out of my rent money. so im thinkin i might as well pay my water bill as well. then just give the landlords all my rent on thursday out of my check i get wednesday night.... hopefully they understand..
also, i was a mcdonalds the other day and was thinking, "if the ketchup says Fancy Ketchup is there a such thing as NOT fancy ketchup?!" i think i might google it, and am i blonde for asking this? or is it a logical question?!
on another note, im quite excited for my birthday! its day after tomorrow! i will be 21!

oh, these ladies i work with talk in navajo off and on all day i cant help but think that they are saying something not nice about someone! why else would they only say certain things in navajo? a language that not everyone knows... its irritating!

Sunday, October 2, 2011

well i dont like being in a bad mood. =(

ok so i was having a great day, but now im just in a bad mood. i was hopingto shift trade with someone for the weekend after my birthday... but no one will . so owell, but i was really hoping to go to durango.
im having a party on thursday tho, so it better rock! my birthdays always seem to suck.. my 17th birthday my bf dumped me , my 18th i was in military school and had to do a road march , 19th was lame just had cake and ice cream, and my 20th i was moving to grants and 3 weeks later mt baby brother died. =( . so i hope ths one makes up for all the crap iv went thru. 
im really hoping my mood picks up! cuz i dont like being ticked off =(  also our main boss is in town... so no headphones tonight which means no YouTube :( today just keeps getting worse....
i was just thinking, no one probably reads my blog lol so this all os pointless beyond just venting... so why do i do this?? maybe i should get a laptop and start Vlogging.... (video blogging)...............

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

my wierdness .....

ok so i consider my self mostly country... but.... i also consider my self sorta emo too. kinda sounds like i have an identity crisis... how can my two sides be so opposite? its weird. for instance look at these two pictures of me....


See what i mean?! the thing is... i am more confident when im in the first pic (emo)... but people know me better as the second (country) . i wish there was ahappy medium. maybe if people did not catagorize people all the time i could just be me.

and then i two totally different types of guys. for instance :



i find both of these guys equally sexxxyyyy...

i also love music such as justin moore , jason aldean , etc. all the way to
alesana and blessthefall .

idk what to do?!?!?!?!?!?

Monday, September 26, 2011

oh how i missed you .....

so, i got my phone today!!!! lol oh how i missed having a smart phone! =) facebook! youtube! email! internet! lol yay me !!! lol and its pink! i wonder if i can blog from my phone??? this is something im going to look into

Sunday, September 25, 2011

dreams.............

well for starters... i have been having really wierd dreams lately. the other night i dream about seeing like 3 different car wrecks. my grandpa was in one of them. and he was ok but they cut off the tips of his fingers. (im going to highlight the things im going to seach the meanings of.)
then the next night i dreamed that i woke up and there was a strange family in my house and later in the dream my step dad shot me .... 


interpretations:


Wreck

To dream of a wreck symbolizes barriers and obstacles that stand between you and your goals. You may feel that you are not making any progress and are being held back. Consider what obstacles are present in your waking life.

Crash

To dream of being in a crash or something crashing around you implies that you have finally been able to overcome an obstacle or hardship. It may also symbolize anxieties you have regarding becoming the victim of an accident.


Shot

To dream that you have been shot indicates that you are not holding a very high opinion of yourself. You may have committed an act that causes you humiliation and disgrace. If you are shot and come back as a different person, then it suggests that you need to take a new approach or develop a new outlook. You have a desire to change your ways and transform into someone entirely different
To dream that someone is shooting you with a gun denotes a difficult issue that you are facing. An issue may be making you feel vulnerable and exposed.


Stranger

To dream of a stranger represents an aspect or quality that you refuse to show to others. It may also be suggesting a solution or resolution for an issue that is causing you anxiety.


If you dream that someone broke into your house, you have a sense of being violated. Your personal boundaries has been crossed by someone.




I got these interpretations from http://www.dreamforth.com/